The Complaints Choir

又有人complain了，而且是complain国家，complain自己人，complain一大群人－新加坡人！

看FB上安娜转贴的短片Singapore Complain(BANNED)，不禁莞尔。微妙的是题目后面括弧“禁止”二个字。

为什么要禁止呢？

兼听则明，老百姓的声音为何要封杀掉？听一听他们的心声，说不定还可以改善民生。否则，等到形成堰塞湖的时候，决堤而一泻千里，那就无可挽救了。


We get fined for almost everything
Drivers won't 'give chance'when you want to'change lane'
The indoors are cold, the outdoors are hot;
And the humid air, it wrecks my hair
Those answering machines always make you hold
Only to hang up on you

When a pregnant lady gets on the train
Everyone pretends to be asleep
I'm stuck with my parents till I'm 35
Cause I can't apply for HDB
We don't recycle any plastic bags
But we purify our pee

*chorus:
What's wrong with Singapore?
Losing always makes me feel so sore
Cause if you're not the best
Then you're just one of the rest

My oh my Singapore
What exactly are we voting for?
What's not expressly permitted
is prohibited

“Ooh”

When I'm hungry at the food court, I see
People'chope'seats with their tissue paper
To the aunty staying upstairs:
Your laundry's dripping on my bed sheets
Please don't squat on the toilet seats
And don't clip your nails on MRT

Stray cats get into noisy affairs
At night my neighbor makes weird animal sounds
People put on fake accents to sound posh
And queue up 3 hours for donuts
Will I ever live till eighty five
to collect my CPF?

*chorus

Singaporeans too kiasu! (so scared to lose)
Singaporeans too kiasi! (so scared o die)
Singaporeans too kiabor!(scared of their wives)
Maybe we're just too stressed out! (even the kids)

“Ooh”

Old National Library was replaced by an ugly tunnel
Singaporean men can't take independent women
People blow their nose into the swimming pool
And fall asleep on my shoulder in the train

Singapore's national bird is the crane (the one with yellow steel girders)
Real estate agents' leaflets clogging up my mailbox (en bloc, en bloc; en bloc, en bloc)
Why can't we be buried when we die?
No one wants to climb Bukit Timah with me

*chorus

“Ooh”

There are not enough public holidays
My neighbor sings KTV all night
Wedding dinners never start on time
My hair is always cut shorter than I want
Channel 5 commercials are way too long
Why do men turn bad?

*At first it was to speak more mandarin
Then it was to speak proper English
What's wrong with my powderful Singlish?

People sit down during rock concerts
We have to pay for tap water at restaurants
ERP gantries are everywhere
But I can still see traffic jams on the road
All the bus stops have tilted benches to keep you off balance

*chorus

哇！哪来这么一群人，衣冠端正，还在前国会殿堂有组织地鸣报不平，拉大嗓门高歌？追查一下，才知道原来这是一个国际性的组织“The Complaints Choir” 。短片制作者声明如下：

“The Complaints Choir invites people to complain as much as they want and to sing their complaints out loud together with fellow complainers. The first choir was organised in Birmingham followed by other cities around the globe. The lyrics were written by the Choir, the song was composed and conducted by Chong Wai Lun. A project by Tellervo Kalleinen and Oliver Kochta-Kalleinen. Produced by Fringe Festival Singapore 2008.”

既然如此，怎么会是禁止呢？如果在政府允许下组织合唱以及播放，我反倒觉得是国家更加开放宽容了，值得一赞！

希望所有国民自我观照，去除片中反映的恶习；政府能从歌者的心声中，解读百姓的苦痛，加以改进。让我们一起建设更优雅美好的新加坡！

Credits: Anna Lim

后记：原来这段狮城的小插曲发生在2007年1月，我当时身在国外，不知道岛国出现了这样一个小波澜。